Friday, July 13, 2007

Your Best Life Now... Or Something Like That

Usually I don't forward the kind of stuff that arrives in my email box with promises of blessing or threats of bad luck. This came from a friend today, though, and I enjoyed it so much that I thought others might, too. Here is what she sent:

"Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. (Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder) This is how it manifests itself: I decided to water my garden. As I turned on the hose in the driveway, I looked over at my car and decided my car needs washing. As I started toward the garage, I noticed that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier. I decided to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice the can is full. So I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find a Coke that I had been drinking. I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye --- they need to be watered. I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I have been searching for all morning. Then I decide I had better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember it's on the table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill, the, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day: --- the car isn't washed, --- the bills aren't paid, --- there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter --- the flowers don't have enough water, --- there is still only one check in my checkbook, --- I can't find the remote, --- I can't find my glasses, --- and I don't remember what in the world I did with my car keys! Then, when I try to figure out why I got nothing done today, I'm really baffled, because I know I was busy all day long and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first, I'll check my e -mail. Do me a favor will you? Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember to whom it has been sent. Don't laugh!!! If this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!! Growing older is mandatory. Growing up is optional. Laughing at yourself is therapeutic. P.S. I just walked outside and ----- SOMEONE LEFT THE WATER RUNNING IN THE DRIVEWAY!!!!!!!!!"

Sound like anybody you know?

3 comments:

Geoff Baggett said...

Kat,
Now I know why I'm having trouble focusing on a single task these days. :)
Geoff

Greg said...

Wonderfully written. Thanks. I have a broad smile and a warmed heart. Hope the water is not still running.

Elder's Wife said...

Geoff-
Maybe we were never designed to multi-task. Imagine God begining to create this world and leaving the elephant unfinished... Too often, I begin the elephant and never get back to it :)
Greg-
I've turned the water off...but maybe I should fill the bird bath before I quit for the night.